The school of the future...

Having been in the army for so long, I found that there are actually a lot of similiarites between an army camp and a school... Both has to do with passing on knowledge and strict discipline in an organisation... This could be the new kind of schools in the future...

Hierarchy level:

First off, a primary school will have 6 levels of education and hierarchy system... The students will be classified accordingly to these levels...

• Pri 1 students will be known as 'recruits' (REC)
• Pri 2 will be 'Private' (PTE)
• Pri 3 & 4 will be 'Lance Corporal' (LCP)
• Pri 5 & 6 will be known as 'Corporal' (CPL)

Once the students have reached Pri 3 level, the well-behaved students will be selected to become prefects... They are known as the Sergeants (SGT)... They will be in-charge of booking students whom mis-behave... Other than that, they have another important role too... They will be stationed at the cookhouse/canteen during mealtimes to ensure that the students do not run about and move in an orderly manner... On most occassions, this role seems redundant as the prefects are juz standing there and staring into the air... But it is important... juz like how a security guard standing at any entry or exit point to 'show face'...

Higher up in the hierarchy comes the form teachers, also known as the 'Platoon Sergeants' (PL Sgt)... They are in-charge of their own particular classs' welfare and well-being... He will act as the fatherly role, while the students will be the kids... The students can refer back any questions or feedback to him, but wil first have to endure any wild vulgarity that will be showered at him... He wil be blessed after that...

Above the Platoons sergeants will be the 'Company Sergeant Major' (CSM) He is the Head of Department for each subject...

Next in line is the 'Regimental Sergeant Major' (RSM)... As the name suggest, he is in charge of disciplinary issues... Any disciplinary cases reported to him will be served with at least 3 extras to the offender... Extras here refers to extra duties or detention... They will be confined over the weekends to do cleaning work to the school... 3 extras means 3 saturdays or sundays will be burnt... This is something that is terribly avoided by people as weekends are precious...

Top in the ranks will be the 'Commanding Officer" (CO)... He is the principal of the school and is most of the time found in the office... He is in-charge of planning the training schedule... and commands a pay of at least $5 to $6k..

In each class, the will be a class monitor, known as Platoon IC... He will have to report the strength of the class before the start of every lesson... Whenever any PL SGT steps into the class, he will go:

"Class DIAM!! (Attention!!)"

"Good Morning/Afternoon Sgt Lim... Platoon IC reporting Strength..."

"Total strength 35, current strength 34... One man 'Attend C' (On MC)... PTE Chao Keng Kia"

"Permision to carry on sergeant?"

Permission is then granted to carry on, and the class will since start...

Curriculum:

The curriculum of the school is very much 50% theory, 50% practical... Students are taught on survival skills, such as to hunt animals for food and to make a fire, to home-making skills such as to build tentages, together with decorating their homes with natural plantation such as plants and scrubs so as to blend in with the environment, otherwise known as 'camoflauging'... Students will have to pass their theory test first, affectionally known as the technical handling test, before they can start on their practical lessons... Practical lessons are normally conducted outfield, so as to make the learning environment as close to nature and as realistic as possible... But before the students set out to field, they are always reminded to put on sun-block lotion, in the colour of green and black... Failure to do so, or to apply properly will be dealt with by having more sun-block lotion applied onto them... This is to ensure that they do not suffer from any adverse effects of staying under the sun for long hours...

Physical Activity:

All work and no play makes Adam a dull boy... To instill a healthy lifestyle, physical lessons are conducted everyday... They range from daily morning basic exercises before their lessons starts to runs in the evening... Basic exercises are 20 push-ups, 20 crunches, 20 star-jumps, 20 alternate leg-thrusts and 20 sit-and-reach stretches... Runs will normally begin with 3kms up to 8 kms, averaging 5 mins per km... Failing to reach end point before time limit will be served extra PT training such as running around the parade square a few more rounds...

An Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT) will be conducted every year to see their fitness level... This is similar to the NAPFA test conducted in other schools but without the sit-and-reach station... The test results will be classified into 4 ranges... Fail, Pass, Silver and Gold... All other awards except gold holders, will have to re-take the test again and again until the gold si obtained...

Another test called Standard Obstalce Course (SOC) is also conducted annually... This is a more gruelling test compared to the above... It starts off will a 700m run, followed by 11 obstacles and finishing off with a 600m run... To pass the test will require students to come in with a finishing timing of 9mins 30 secs... The 11 obstacles are:

1. Low wall: students are to jump and lunge themselves over a 2m high wall...
2. Parallel bar: Students are to use their arm power to support themselves and manoveur across the bar...
3. Horizontal beam: This is a horizontal piece of log... students will have to step and jump across a horizontal log... They have to try to jump further off as the log is laid with barbed wire on the other side... You dun wan to risk getting your buttocks poked, do you?
4. Swing trainer: Also known as the monkey bar... Needless to explain...
5. Low rope: Students will have to climb up to the rope to reach the top... looks similar to the fire-fighters vertical bar which they slide down... But this goes in the other direction-- Up, and it is a rope...
6. Horizontal log: Students will have to leap over this horizontal log, one left hand holding onto the log and using the right leg to leap over...
7. Balancing beam: Students will have to balance themselves as they walked through a wooden plank held on the two ends...
8. Zig-Zag: It's a 2m high zig-zag obstacle of wooden planks... students will have to walk up the steps to reach the obstacle, walk through the zig-zags and jump off... students will have to battle with their fear of height at this stage...
9. Window gate: Students will flip over themselves through this obstacle... they will bend themselves over the bar and flip over... Juz imagine...
10. Jacob's Ladder: Students will have to climb up this triangular obstacle laid with logs, and walking down on the other side... It can be pretty scary for the first few tries and people with a phobia of heights...
11. High ramp: Students will run up a ramp off about 2.5 metres high and jump off... when they leap off their feet, they will have to shout their school's name "Sadist!!" At this point, many knees or ankles will be injured if they do not land properly... After this last obstacle, they will have to remind themselves that it's not the end and there's another 600m to the end point...

Upon reaching the end point, you will breathe and pant like you never heard yourself gasping for air before... Your muscles are so tired that you feel like your bladder muscles can't seem to hold onto anything and you feel like you can leak anytime... that's SOC for you... FOC (Free-of-Charge) with our curriculum...

Disciplinary issues:

To get from point to point, the students will have to queue in rows or 3... Instead of putting their hands on the person in front when moving from point to point like a 'too-too-train', they will march...

Whenever the class is too noisy, they will be put to a test of their limbs... Not in the case of standing up, but laying on their fours in a push-up position... Whenever instructions are not carried out quickly, they can be seen in this position too...

End of the day:

At the end of each school day, the whole school will form up at the parade square... The sergeant on duty will have to lower the flag... An instruction order will be read out, called a "Routine Order'...

School of Sadist

(Formerly known as Institiue of Mental Hell)

Routine Order by Commanding Officer

Mr Chin Bian Tai

26 August 2005

Assembly: 0730 hours

First lesson: 0800 hours

Canteen break: 1000 hours

Lunch: 1200 hours

Canteen break: 1500 hours

Last parade: 1830 hours

1. Students are reminded to have a good hair-cut by next monday... Failure to do so will be disciplinary dealt with...
2. Students are once again reminded to march from point to point... Failure to do so will be seriously dealt with...
3. Running around during canteen breaks are STRICTLY prohibited... Offenders will be seriously dealt with...

Safety Message of the day: Students are reminded to drink at least half a water bottle every hour, after meals and before any streneous exercices...

Quote of the day: The greatest oak tree was once a little nut on the ground -- annoynomous...

**End of Routine Order**

This will be followed by the lowering of the National and school flag, together with the National Antemn... After which, the school is dismissed, by having the stidents march out of the gates... And remember... they have to march out and not run, even though they have seen their parents waiting anxiously outside the gates for them...

And now, it's the time of the year again... The school is recruiting for next year's school cohort... Calling out all parents whom wanna send their kids to our school to register by October... There's no distance restrictions (Eg: 2km radius within school)... Right now, we're having a promotion... Free school bus rides and textbooks will be given to the first 100 kids, on a first-come-first-served basis... While stocks last... So hurry!!!

Please join us and together, we're pave your kids pathway to success!!!